A Letter to the Vacationers

August 20, 2007

Dear Mr. and Mrs. B,

Glad to hear that you are having a hoot of a time with the old farts. Too bad about the car. And I will get right on that toothbrush thing. Maybe it will get there by the end of the week. Oh, and Rita says sorry about the pool. Watch out for the floaters. You know how kids are.

Wanted you to know your cat is fine. You were wrong when you thought she might want some love and attention. What she really wanted was water. And food. Pfft. Even though she is not the least bit interested in me, I will continue to visit her daily. Don’t worry.


I finally figured out how to get the key into the mailbox and actually found some mail in there. Why New Yorkers Live Longer? Hope some good stuff comes while you are gone. Like candy or something.


I will also stack up your newspapers in a nice neat pile for you to peruse at your leisure when you return. Or pitch. Whatever the case may be. Can I have the coupons?


We continue to have a lot of rain. This is the low spot near your place. Its a pretty good sized retention pond at the moment. The ducks love it.


Thought you might want to see the creek as of 5:00 this evening. Its running a pretty swift clip right now. We are keeping the old women (me) and animals (Willi) away.


So, don’t worry about us. We are all just fine. Wet but fine. Did I tell you it was raining?

I know you really wanted to spend some time in Hawaii. I wanted that for you, too. But since you are there instead, here’s a little something from me to you. You might want to give it a try.

Happy Anniversary!



Hey! Isn’t that a friend of yours?

“I packed my bags and bought myself a ticket
For the land of the tall palm tree
Aloha old Indiana, hello Waikiki
I just stepped down from the airplane
When I thought I heard her say
Waka waka nuka nuka, waka waka nuka nuka
Would you like a lei? eh?

Lets talk dirty in Hawaiian
Whisper in my ear
Kicka pooka maka wah wahini
Are the words I long to hear
Lay your coca nuta on ma tiki
What the hecka mooka mooka dear
Lets talk dirty in Hawaiian
Say the words I long to hear

Its a ukelele Honolulu sunset
Listen to the grass skirts sway
Drinking rum from a pineapple
Out on Honolulu Bay
The steel guitars all playing
While shes talking with her hands
Gimme gimme oka doka make a wish and wanta polka
Words I understand

Lets talk dirty in Hawaiian
Whisper in my ear
Kicka poo ka maka wa wah wahini
Are the words I long to hear
Lay your coca nuta on ma tiki
What the hecka mooka mooka dear
Lets talk dirty in Hawaiian
Say the words I long to hear”


19 Responses to “A Letter to the Vacationers”

  1. Cazzie Says:

    Wish we had smella-computers..so I could smell the trees there in the image you have..we can look at pictures and speculate what the breeze is doing, but we cannot feel or smell it…shame that.

  2. her indoors Says:

    that is just too funny!

  3. daddy d Says:

    Water, water everywhere … It will go down because gravity will win out over time. It is always there and the rain is there just some percentage of the time.

  4. coffeypot Says:

    Funny video, but we could use some of that rain down here.

  5. Nessa Says:

    A couple of people in my office went to Hawaii this year. I just sent them the song.

    I loved your letter.

  6. corky Says:

    I’m always amazed at how much living things like, and need food and water. 😉

  7. Susan Says:

    I always think critters will be thrilled to see us when we come to make sure they have food and fresh water. Sadly they never are…I think they must be pouting.

  8. gawilli Says:

    Cazzie, the best smelling thing in my backyard right now is a hickory tree that Willi cut and brought home for smoking wood. I know what you mean.

    Her Indoors – I’m waiting to see if my daughter sees the humor in it also!

    Daddy D – The water is already on its way down. Thank heavens. And we didn’t have any in the basement this time.

    Coffeypot – I would love to send you some. We have had such torrential storms that our farmers are having to count their crops as total losses.

    Nessa – That song was one I heard from John Prine. I think the Dirt Band did it also. Glad you liked the letter.

    Corky – Amazing, isn’t it?

    Susan – I am sure Sarah’s cat is pouting, she is so spoiled. But then again she has lived long enough to do whatever she damn well pleases. She is one feisty little feline.

  9. milkandhoney Says:

    Oh no, the cat loves you… that’s how she shows her love, by not throwing up on your shoes. And you can have the papers; I’ve canceled that paper three times so far. Love you!

  10. gawilli Says:

    Milkandhoney – I am everso grateful she did not throw up on my shoes. Hope all is well! Love you too!

  11. Lisa's Chaos Says:

    I am so tired of the rain. Wish some of the people who need it would get what we’re supposed to get over the next few days.

  12. Tink Says:

    Ok, that got a giggle out of me. And let me tell you, I am NOT in a giggling mood today. So, thank you.

  13. Michelle Says:

    What a great little letter (obvs to the newly-married daughter?) and an even better little video!

  14. Shauna Says:

    🙂 Too funny!

  15. mjd Says:

    Thanks for letting us read your letter. I hope that the weather is wonderful in Hawaii, and I wish all of us were there. The weather is not so wonderful tonight in Indiana. I imagine that creek by your house is rising. Coming home a few minutes ago, I saw water streaming across Old 330. Maybe the rain will stop soon. I hope that you and Willi have power and are high and dry.

  16. milkandhoney Says:

    I guess I don’t have to ask you to water my plants, do I? Because I forgot… By the way, how’s the eucalyptus hangin?

  17. gawilli Says:

    Sunshine – It looked about the same; brown on one side and green on the other. It’s really storming.

  18. Jessica Says:

    Aw, super cute kitty and pretty photos.

  19. tod Says:

    I just loved the first paragraph of this post. It was like starting a new book and realising I was in for one hell of a good read.

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